My name is Yonusimi, I am a 19-year-old lady, and this is my story.

I live with my dad in our family house with my two elder siblings who recently moved out. My eldest sister Dolapo moved out to another state to start a new business, while my immediate senior sister Lola got married and moved in with her husband.
My father is a doting father, but being a single father of three beautiful daughters after my mother’s demise has not been easy for him. Moreso, my father never got over the death of my mother, they loved each other so dearly hence, my father never remarried.

My father’s elder brother lives in the same family compound apart from his wife who lives and works in another state with his children who are all married now. When I turned 10 years old, I recalled that I returned from school that afternoon tired, I decided to take a nap while my elder sisters went for after-school lessons in the neighborhood. I heard footsteps while on the bed, I asked who it was, and my uncle Abayomi answered and said he wanted to know if my sisters had gone for a lesson which I responded in affirmative, then he came into the room, used a piece of cloth to touch me three times, then I got weak but still conscious, he laid me on the bed and had sexual intercourse with me.
I woke up naked, my clothes were on the floor, I tried to stand up and I felt pain in my vagina, there were blood stains too. Uncle Abayomi returned and took the bedspread from the bed. He gave me a pill to take and threatened to kill me if I ever told anyone. My dad was at work because his job routine was tedious, and he sometimes had night shifts.

This became a regular routine, and I began to withdraw from people, I was timid, sad, and experienced low self-esteem. My grades began to drop drastically so my teacher invited my father to my school to ask him if he observed any changes in me. He talked to me and inquired to know what was responsible but the threat to my life made me not tell anyone. Moreso, the object of abuse was always present in the house, and constantly threatened me so I could not speak out.

I lost count of the number of times he raped me, and he always threatens to kill me and tell me that no one would believe my story if I ever told anyone. Uncle Abayomi was well respected by all in our environment, so I accepted my fate until recently.

While in my final year in secondary school, a new teacher was transferred to our school, she was friendly, warm, and cared about all students in the school. She began organizing girl talks, know-your-rights sessions, all you need to know about sexual abuse, and other areas which other teachers were not interested in. She genuinely cared about the psychological and mental well-being of every student.

It was during one of such talks that she encouraged us to see her privately if we or anyone we knew was experiencing sexual abuse. I summoned courage, went to her, and told her about my sad experiences over the years. She empathized with me, called the school authorities, and informed them. The school authorities called my father to the principal’s office, and they asked me to recount my ordeal to him, which I did, my dad broke down weeping while demanding justice for crimes committed by his elder brother.
The school authorities and my dad took Uncle Abayomi to the police station, interrogated him, and arrested him afterward, and the case was charged to court. The police officers at the police station referred us to the WARIF Centre.

At WARIF Centre, I immediately accessed medical treatment, psych-social counselling, laboratory test, and medications free of charge. The psycho-social counseling provided by the counselor at the center helped to answer the questions troubling my mind over the years. The counselor assured me that the rape incident was no fault of mine but is entirely the fault of the perpetrator. She helped me to process my thoughts in a safe space. She taught me healthy coping mechanisms to deal with the trauma associated with the rape. This helped me to heal mentally, emotionally, and psychologically.

I attended the Group therapy sessions held monthly at the Centre where I developed a new sense of belonging and self-concept that helped to rebuild my self-esteem, which was exceptionally low. I realized that I was not alone, and I had lots of support from the group members, and the facilitators who are the WARIF counsellors. Indeed, I experienced total transformation, and I had a new sense of meaning after the Group therapy session. I believe that I can do all things, and I can achieve my goals.

It has been a year since the incident happened and the court sessions are still ongoing, I am confident that my uncle will serve punishments for the crimes he committed against me, and this will serve as a deterrent to others. I have overcome self-doubt, self-blame, guilt, low self-esteem, mood swings, and loss of concentration amongst others via my therapy sessions. I am faring well at my job. I cannot say I have completely healed but I am grateful for the holistic care given to me at WARIF that has made me to be at a good place mentally, emotionally, and psychologically.
Thank you to the medical team, staff, and management of WARIF Centre!

-End-
* The real name of the survivor is changed for confidentiality

Dear survivor, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Help is available. If you have been raped or know someone who has, please visit us at:
The WARIF Centre
6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba.
or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on
0800-9210-0009
For questions or more information please contact: [email protected]

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