WARIF Survivor Stories
Dear Reader,
Welcome to the WARIF Survivor Stories Series, a monthly feature, where stories of survivors of rape and sexual violence are shared to motivate and encourage survivors to speak their truth without the fear of judgment or stigmatization and to educate the public on the sheer magnitude of this problem in our society. The Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF) is a non-profit organization set up in response to the extremely high incidence of rape, sexual violence, and human trafficking of young girls and women in our society. WARIF is tackling this issue through a holistic approach that covers health, education, and community service initiatives.
WARIF aids survivors of rape and sexual violence through the WARIF Centre – a haven where trained professionals are present full time, 6 days a week including public holidays to offer immediate medical care, forensic medical examinations, psycho-social counseling, and welfare services which include shelter, legal aid, and vocational skills training. These services are provided FREE of charge to any survivor who walks into the Centre.

My name is Tayo*, I am 22 years old, and this is my story.

I grew up in a village in southwest Nigeria and lost my father to a ghastly motor accident at a young age. After my father’s death, his farmland and other properties were taken over by his relatives because my mum did not bear him a male child. My mother had to do a lot of menial jobs to feed us, house us, and send me to school. She eventually developed a heart condition that got worse over the years but still managed to take care of our needs.

On a fateful day, after my last WAEC examination paper, I got home and discovered that my mother had been rushed to the hospital where the doctor confirmed that her condition was critical. I was confused and afraid, my mother was incapacitated, and I could do nothing to help her. We found a little solace when a neighbor who had always been supportive suggested that her older sister Mrs. Igwe*, who is based in Lagos, was willing to take me in and train me through the university. This news lifted my mother’s spirits and she agreed. Mrs. Igwe came to the village the following week and all arrangements were concluded for me to join her family in Lagos within three months. Unfortunately, my mother passed away a few weeks later.

The date arrived and I went to Mrs. Igwe’s residence in Lagos. It was a rude shock when I was given the rules I was to abide by. First, I could not be sent to the University until I had served her household for 5 years. I was to wake up every day at 4 am daily to do all the household chores including making the meals; I was not permitted to eat when the family was eating; I could not sleep till everyone else had gone to bed. Moreover, Mrs. Igwe’s children were unruly, yet I could not reprimand them no matter what they did. I was not allowed to eat any freshly made food, only the leftovers. Mrs. Igwe also physically, emotionally, and verbally abused me. How I survived those horrendous treatments, I still cannot understand.

Some months after, Mrs. Igwe’s husband began to sexually abuse me. He would return home when my madam had gone to work, and the children were still in school to rape me. He threatened to kill me if I ever told anyone about the incident and would force me to take pills after the act. I endured all this continuously for 5 years, hoping to be sent to the University as per the agreement when I was first brought to Lagos. However, this was not to be; my madam had no intention of sending me to the university. I could not bear the psychological trauma any longer, so I ran away. While on the run, I encountered various men who took advantage of me sexually. After a few weeks of being on the run, I met a “Good Samaritan” who saw me roaming the streets and took me in. She listened to my story and immediately took me to the police station. She reported Mrs. Igwe to the police and her husband was arrested and subsequently charged to court with rape.

At the police station, they promised to find the other perpetrators and I was referred to the WARIF Centre. At the center, I was given medical assistance, treatment, and psycho-social counseling. The side effects of the abuse such as flashbacks, fear, guilt, self-blame, anxiety, insomnia, and mood swings which I used to experience are all gone. I had attempted suicide on two separate occasions in the past, but I no longer feel the need to commit suicide to end all my pain. The counselor helped me realize that what happened to me was not my fault, I was encouraged and taught coping mechanisms that have put me in a better place mentally. Thus, I am hopeful for a better tomorrow.

It’s been 9 months since I met the WARIF team, and I am doing well. I made the cut-off marks in the recently concluded JAMB exams and I gained admission to study accountancy at the University I will be resuming in a few weeks. Many thanks to the WARIF Team!

-End-
* Real name of survivor changed for confidentiality
Dear survivor, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Help is available. If you have been raped or know someone who has, please visit us at:
The WARIF Centre
6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba.
or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on
0800-9210-0009
For questions or more information please contact: [email protected]