My name is Iywanger meaning “Truth pays” in Tv ethnic group in Nigeria. I am a 23-year-old lady, and this is my story.
I live with my parents and nanny; I am an only child, and we live in Lagos. I went downstairs to charge my phone at a general point after power outage, we usually have a place in my block of apartments where anyone can take their appliances to charge at a general point.
I met one of the young guys living in another apartment, I have seen him a couple of times while going out with my parents and he suggested we play a Game which the winner dares the loser to do anything of their choice and he choose the game on his phone and he won the game and he asked to touch any part of my body, I refused but he reminded the rules of the game and he asked me to follow him, I did not know what to do, so he took me to his apartment. Upon entering, he locked the door while I was wondering why he was locking the door, then he pushed me on the sofa, and he did not stop at touching me rather he pulled off my dress, when I tried shouting for help, he used his hands to cover my mouth and then raped me by inserting his penis into my vagina.
I cried in pain because he deflowered me, and then he showed me afterwards a video he recorded while molesting me sexually, I was angry that he made video without my consent, then he threatened to post it to the social media and to all my contacts including my parents.
I began pleading with him to delete it then he requested that I give a huge amount of money to delete it. I told him, I had just finished High school and I did not have that kind of money and the only money I had is the savings my parents opened for me since childhood and handed the account over to me when I turned Eighteen, then he asked me to send the money to him which I did, then I took the phone and deleted the sex video and left his house.
Unknown to me, he had sent it to cloud, and I only had the temporary file, and he called later that I was only a naïve girl, and he was not stupid to allow me to delete the original file. Since that day, he began extorting me and having sexual intercourse with me when he so desires, and I became his sex slave. I hated myself, lost appetite, and became lean, my parents noticed it and kept asking what the issues were, but I refused to tell them because of the threat to life by the perpetrator. At a point, I had to monitor my dad and got his ATM pin and withdrew my dad’s money to pay the perpetrator so that he would not send the sex video. I became depressed and would have attempted suicide but for the love my parents showered, and I was certain they might not survive my sudden demise and would leave the rest of their lives in sorrow.
On this fateful day, my father returned home and found it difficult to ask my mom if she made any withdrawal from his card since she had never done that, they would always seek each other’s permission if there was any emergency needs to be met and my dad always gave my mom her monthly allowances and made sure my mother who had a good job did not lack in any way except he cannot afford it. Since it was his card that was used and we had our nanny who had been living with us since childhood and myself, that made my dad suspicious and then unknown to me, he began monitoring my phone and movement but I was always cautious and so it was quite difficult for my dad to find anything.
My perpetrator sent a message overnight to tell me to come over to his apartment as usual and unknown to me my dad had sneaked in to check my phone, he saw the message and forwarded it to his phone. I left for his house after asking my nanny for permission that I needed to stroll around the vicinity which she granted. I left for the perpetrator’s apartment, I did not know how my dad was in the neighborhood monitoring me, and he trailed me to the perpetrator’s apartment, and unfortunately the perpetrator forgot to lock the door, my dad came in suddenly, as he was about to molest me and he hit him from behind and he fell on the floor, my dad immediately called on the apartment security, and they held him down until the police arrived. The perpetrator was arrested immediately, and the police referred us to WARIF Centre.
At the CENTRE, I received medical assessment, treatment, and psycho-social counselling for free. The staff at WARIF Centre are very professional and devoted in the discharge of their duties. I was attended to medically and I also accessed psychosocial counselling for free and this helped to begin my healing journey from trauma. My counselling sessions with the counsellor at WARIF Centre are life changing and worthwhile. I was able to heal emotionally and psychologically, and the coping mechanisms helped to deal with my emotions, and I can confidently say am in a safe space of hope, healing, and peace. I also joined the Group therapy session where I developed a sense of belonging and it helped to build up my self- concept and esteem. The perpetrator was charged in court and convicted for crimes committed against me. It has been two years now and my life has had a new meaning. I gained admission to the University to study Computer Engineering and I, rounding up my second year with an excellent G.P I also look forward to becoming an advocate for the sexually violated in the society. I have experienced total transformation in every area of my life, and I am grateful to WARIF.
I appreciate the Management and staff of WARIF Centre for restoring my lost hope and joy.
-End-
* Real name of survivor changed for confidentiality
Dear survivor, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Help is available. If you have been raped or know someone who has, please visit us at:
The WARIF Centre
6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba.
or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on
0800-9210-0009
For questions or more information please contact: [email protected]
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