WARIF Survivor Stories
Dear Reader,
Welcome to the WARIF Survivor Stories Series, a monthly feature, where stories of survivors of rape and sexual violence are shared to motivate and encourage survivors to speak their truth without the fear of judgment or stigmatization and to educate the public on the sheer magnitude of this problem in our society. The Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF) is a non-profit organization set up in response to the extremely high incidence of rape, sexual violence, and human trafficking of young girls and women in our society. WARIF is tackling this issue through a holistic approach that covers health, education, and community service initiatives.
WARIF aids survivors of rape and sexual violence through the WARIF Centre – a haven where trained professionals are present full time, 6 days a week including public holidays to offer immediate medical care, forensic medical examinations, psycho-social counseling, and welfare services which include shelter, legal aid, and vocational skills training. These services are provided FREE of charge to any survivor who walks into the Centre.

I am Toluwani*, a 26-year-old lady, and this is my story.

I live in the residential quarters of a hospital where I work as a nurse. I got employed after my internship at the hospital because I was extremely dedicated and hardworking. In a short time, I developed a cordial working relationship with every member of staff. Amongst all the friends I had in the medical unit Jide*, a medical doctor in one of the departments was exceptionally kind and helpful to me. Soon, our friendship metamorphosed, and we became like siblings with him always looking out for me and vice versa. As time passed, he met my family, and I also met his; he met my fiancée, and they became friends. They were times, he would come over to my place and pass the night even when my fiancée was around, he became the older brother that I did not have. More so because I am the last born of three siblings and we are all female. He respected me like a little sister, and he never stepped out of the boundary.

On a particular evening after my day shift, I went back to my room to bathe and rest. I was already asleep when a phone call from Jide woke me. He requested that I please come over to his place to get the injections that needed to be administered to a patient. When I got to his place, he gave me the supplies to take to the hospital and pleaded that I should return as he needed to discuss an urgent matter with me. Meanwhile, he made me drop my phone to ensure that I returned in good time.

After I was done at the hospital, I rushed back to Jide’s place, a little concerned about what could be bothering him. He asked me to come into his room for the conversation, which I did not object to because it wouldn’t be my first time in his room. However, to my greatest surprise, Jide made the most outrageous request. He told me he wanted to have sexual intercourse with me! I was beyond words; what was Jide thinking? I told him that he was joking and sniffed his breath for alcohol to make sure he was not drunk but he seemed normal. I stood up to leave and discovered that he had locked the door. He then told me to accept his offer willingly or else he would have his way forcefully. I tried to talk some sense to him, but he was not listening. Instead, Jide grabbed me and forcefully dragged me back to his bed, and despite my struggle, he overpowered and raped me.

When he was done, he started pleading with me to forgive him, that he did not know what came over him. I pushed him off with all the strength I could muster and went to lock myself in the bathroom and cried. I could not believe what had just happened. He kept knocking and pleading with me to open the door for him. I do not know how long I was in there because I slept off only to wake up to the rays of sunshine streaming in from the bathroom window. As I tried to get up, I felt pains in my body resulting from the struggles of the previous night. I washed my face and opened the door to see that he was still asleep. Luckily, he left the keys on the table, I picked it up, opened the door, and left. I immediately called one of my female colleagues and told her about the incident. She, in turn, called our Head of Department to inform her of the incident, then came over to take me to the police station to report the case.

I still do not understand what happened or what caused the sudden change of behavior from Jide. I wondered many things and have remained troubled because I had so many questions begging for answers. Fortunately, I was referred to the WARIF Rape Crises Centre from the police station. I immediately accessed medical treatment and was commended for reporting the case promptly. The psychosocial counseling provided by the counselor at the center helped me to answer some of the questions troubling my mind. The counselor assured me that the rape incident was a result of no fault of mine but is entirely the fault of the perpetrator. I was able to cope with the emotional and psychological trauma I experienced using the coping mechanism I was taught during my counseling sessions.

It’s been a year since the incident happened and I have overcome self-blame, guilt, mood swings, and loss of concentration via my therapy sessions. Am faring well at my job and I was recently promoted to the next level at my place of work. All thanks to the WARIF Team!

-End-
* Real name of survivor changed for confidentiality
Dear survivor, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Help is available. If you have been raped or know someone who has, please visit us at:
The WARIF Centre
6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba.
or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on
0800-9210-0009
For questions or more information please contact: [email protected]