I am Miriam*, a 19-year-old lady, and this is my story.

I am Miriam*, a 19-year-old lady, and this is my story.
I am the only child of my mother and father. My mother left my father when I was about a year old because of domestic violence in which she almost lost her life and mine too. My mother never returned to her marriage despite pleadings from my father and his relatives because she had returned in time past and my father went back to abusing her physically, verbally and psychologically.

Fortunately, my mother found a good man two years later and she had other children for my step-father. My step-father treated me like his biological daughter and I never knew he was not my dad until when I turned eighteen years old when one of my uncles while celebrating my birthday during his speech eulogized my supposed biological father and praised him for never treating me like a step-daughter. I was surprised at the revelation and after the ceremony, I confronted my mother while insisting on meeting my biological father.

My mother apologized while narrating the humiliation my biological father subjected her to when she was pregnant with me, and how by a stroke of luck after he dragged me from her back and I she managed to grab me miraculously else she would have lost me in that incident. I still insisted on meeting my biological father so she contacted him on phone and asked him to come over for meeting on an agreed date. My biological father came to my mom’s office where we were waiting for him. He apologized for his behaviour towards me and my mother and promised to take up his responsibilities as my father going forward.

My father told us he had remarried but their marriage is yet to produce any other children and I was his only child. He pleaded with my mother to allow him take me to see his wife, my step-mother which my mother refused but I convinced my mother and she accepted. He spent one week in town and together we went to my father’s house. Upon arrival, I saw that he had done well for himself for he owned the house he was living in and he had a thriving business. My step mother on the other hand was a civil servant.

On the third day of my arrival, my father began touching me inappropriately but I thought it was a just his own way of exactment for reuniting with his long-lost daughter. Alas! I was wrong because the next day after my step-mother had gone to work, my father came into the room with a knife, and threatened to kill me, if I do not cooperate. Afterwards, he tied my hands, while he forcefully removed my skirt and raped me there. He repeated the same thing on three other occasions and he threatened to kill me on if I ever told anyone. He seized my phone and told my mother that it was bad and he needed to fix and whenever my mother called, he will stay beside me while reminding me of the threat so I would not report the rape incidences.

After about two weeks of consistent rape, I was angry and depressed, I began contemplating suicide. I tried to talk to my step-mother about the incidence but she was just insulting me without hearing me out. My father who usually worked from home decided to go out to see his clients. As soon as my step-mother left for the office same day, I ran to the nearest Call-Centre where I called my mother and reported the incident to her. My mother was furious and asked for the address. I told her and she told me she is on her way.

My father returned home pretending to forget an item but I knew he wanted to rape me as usual, I pleaded and pleaded but he did not stop until he raped me again but I knew that would be his last. Shortly afterwards, my mother arrived with some policemen and my father was arrested and taken to the police station. My non-biological father insisted that the case be charged to court and my father punished for crimes committed against me.

At the police station, we were referred to WARIF Centre, where I was able to access medical examination, treatment and psycho-social counselling all for free. The counselling session were exceptional because it helped me heal emotionally and also to build my self-esteem. The counsellor helped me to understand that it was not my fault but that of the perpetrator. I was privileged to attend the Group Therapy Sessions where I developed a sense of belonging with other survivors and I realized that I am not alone in my healing Journey.

It’s been two years since this incident happened and I can say my hope has been restored and I am healed emotionally mentally and psychologically. All this wouldn’t have been possible without the professional help gotten at WARIF Centre. Many thanks to the staff and management of WARIF Centre. You are all amazing!

-End-
* Real name of survivor changed for confidentiality

Dear survivor, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Help is available. If you have been raped or know someone who has, please visit us at:
The WARIF Centre
6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba.
or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on
0800-9210-0009
For questions or more information please contact: info@warifng.org

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