I am Irawagbon*, a 20-year-old lady, and this is my story.
My parents have six children of whom I am the third child of six. My father, an uneducated poultry farmer who did not get the privilege of being educated insisted that all his children attend school up to the secondary level, and write their WAEC, after which, each one would decide if he or she wanted to go the university or take up a vocation. After I finished my secondary education, I wrote my WAEC and passed with As & Bs in the subjects. My father was proud of me, he then asked what I wanted and I chose to attend a Creative Art Institution because I wanted to be an Actor. I left my village for Lagos to pursue an acting career with an acting school I saw on Facebook which I registered and paid for school fees and I chose to attend the boarding facility since I had no relatives in Lagos. When I arrived, I met the proprietor an elderly man Mr Ehis who shared similar experiences of how he arrived in Lagos as a nobody and became who he is today, successful and impactful and this made me feel at home.

I put my best in my academics and became tops in group discussions, assignments, and other tasks, this made our proprietor like me and encouraged me to visit his office whenever I was less busy. We wrote our first semester examinations bringing the semester to a close, we were asked to vacate the hostels to observe the break until the next semester. I was in a fix as I was not buoyant enough to return to my village, so I told Mr Ehis who suggested I might stay with him until we resume and I agreed. He was a widower with a son who was studying abroad.

One of the days, while we were watching a movie in the afternoon at Mr. Ehis’s house, I was tired, feeling sleepy and so I excused myself to have a nap in the bedroom. I do not know how long I had slept before I felt someone on top of me, I struggled but Mr. Ehis overpowered me and inserted his penis into my vagina and raped me. He kept thrusting hard despite my pleas for him to stop until he was released sperm. When he was done, I was exhausted from the struggle. I was also experiencing pain in my body, especially my vagina because of the force with which he penetrated my vagina. Mr. Ehis got up and began pleading that it was the work of the devil, he pleaded and asked for my forgiveness while promising that it would never happen again. I got angry that I would call my parents, but he pleaded with me the entire day. He kept saying that his life and all he stood for would be destroyed if anyone got to hear about the incident. I shut myself indoors in the room we shared for the whole day crying without eating, nor responding to his pleas to open the door. The next day, I opened the door, and he brought a pill begging that I take it to avoid unwanted pregnancy. I forgave him because of his pleadings, and he promised it would never happen again. He was so happy and promised me unimaginable things even to the extent of flying me abroad for further studies which I rejected. I was not ready for any Greek gift that could expose me to becoming a mistress and I have plans to settle down with a man whom we will both love each other when I am ready for marriage.

About a week later, Mr. Ehis was invited to an event, and I went with him and his driver. After the event, we arrived at Mr. Ehis’s house, he brought out drinks and asked us to have a drink together, I refused telling him, I do not take alcohol, he persuaded me that it seemed I was still angry while telling me that alcohol content was low. After taking it, I felt it was too strong for me but Mr. Ehis persuaded me to drink some more until I became drowsy and felt like passing out, I fell into his arms, and became weak, I felt his hands undressing me, and then a weight on me as I struggled to regain consciousness but I was still weak as I watched him lay me on the couch while he undressed me and raped me a second time, I could not remember much except that I woke up in the morning with a bit of sore in my vagina and I felt sperm coming out of my vagina when I went to urinate.

I immediately took my phone, called my dad, and told him everything; he asked for the address, while he took the available bus to Lagos. Upon his arrival in Lagos, my dad went to the police station nearest to the location of the incident and reported the case. My father arrived at Mr Ehis’s house with the police officers, and he was arrested and taken to the station. We were referred to the WARIF Centre for medical examination, laboratory test, treatment, and Psycho-social counseling. All these services were rendered for free.

The psycho-social counseling helped me to stop blaming myself for not reporting the first time it happened. I was experiencing self-guilt, self-blame, insomnia, mood swings and anger. The psycho-social counseling provided by the counselor at the center helped to answer some of the questions troubling my mind. The counselor assured me that the rape incident was not my fault but rather the fault of the perpetrator. I was taught coping mechanisms to dealing with emotional and psychological trauma. I was also privileged to attend the group therapy session where I connected with other survivors and l realized that I was not alone and developed a sense of belonging which helped rebuild my self-esteem and self-concept.

I have completed my sessions at the Centre, and I see things from a positive point of view. I changed my mind to become a psychologist to help others heal from trauma. Mr. Ehis was charged to court and the hearing is quite progressive. I’m optimistic that I will get justice for the crime he committed in the next hearing. It’s been One and half years after the event and I now sleep soundly, of course, I left the school for something higher. I wrote my JAMB and secured admission to study psychology at one of the prestigious Universities in Nigeria. I hope my story encourages others that with the right support, there’s no limit to what you can achieve despite the challenges you might have been through.

Many thanks to the staff and management of WARIF especially the Medical Team for the wonderful job you are doing to help survivors of SGBV heal emotionally. I appreciate you dearly!!!

-End-
* Real name of survivor changed for confidentiality

Dear survivor, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Help is available. If you have been raped or know someone who has, please visit us at:
The WARIF Centre
6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba.
or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on
0800-9210-0009
For questions or more information please contact: [email protected]

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