My name is Tolani, I am 22 years old lady, and this is my story.
I moved to Lagos about three years ago after completing my Secondary School Education and I came to live with my maternal aunt Caroline who was married with a two-year-old daughter. She promised to sponsor my tertiary education and cater for all my needs until when I finished university and got a job. I have an elder brother who lives in the northern part of Nigeria, and he is raising his own family. We are orphans who lost our parents when I was incredibly young, my elder brother who is ten years older took over the responsibility for my education and welfare with support from Aunt Caroline and now that he is raising his family, so my aunt Caroline offered to help out with my tertiary education.
Aunt Caroline dropped me off on Monday that fateful day on her way to work and I was enthusiastic as usual to help my grandma sell in her shop because she was a distributor of bottled drinks. That evening a man who I thought was living around the neighborhood came to buy drinks from my grandma’s shop and requested that I follow him to where he packed his car to collect the money, and I did not suspect anything, so I did. Immediately, we got to where he was packed, he opened his car door and entered to pick up his purse, then he requested I come over to collect the money and I moved closer and suddenly he flung a handkerchief over my nose, and I became weak, he pushed me to the back sit and drove away. I felt dizzy and semi-conscious while he drove to a deserted compound, he took me to a room, which was dusty and unkempt.
He forcefully removed my clothes, inserted his penis into my vagina and raped me. After he finished, he took me to the bathroom, cleaned me up, took me into the room again, and raped me a second time. This time, he had anal sex, through my anus and vagina sex making it thrice that he molested me sexually.
He drove me back to the same place he picked me up, laid me on the bush path that night, and drove off. Fortunately for me, the effect of the drugs the perpetrator made me sniff, began to wear down and I began pleading with passersby to help me, but they ran away thinking I was a lunatic until a particular stranger, a bike man offered to take me to the police station and there I was able to write my statement. The police officers asked for my aunt’s phone number and contacted them and that was how I reconciled to my family.
Fortunately, the police officers directed me to WARIF Centre where I was able to access medical assessment, treatment, and psycho-social counselling. I was emotionally and psychologically down, and the WARIF counselor was able to help me deal with my guilt and self-blame which I was experiencing at the time. I thought about how close I was to death, what if the perpetrator was a ritualist and killed me, and how I was lucky to be alive. She assured me it was not my fault and gave me the courage to live again. In the process of healing, she taught coping mechanism for dealing with trauma. It was during the session, that I discovered I was dealing with grief for the tragic loss of my parents in an accident and the counsellor engaged me in grief therapy. I participated in the group therapy session, where I developed a sense of belonging and to build my self-esteem.
I was able to write my JAMB examinations, and I gained admission into one of the prestigious universities in Nigeria to study law. I have resumed my first year and it has been great so far, I can concentrate and focus more on classroom work. The perpetrator was caught through the efforts of the community and police officers and the case was charged to court and all is going well for me and my family. I can’t say I have completely healed but I am grateful that I am at a good space emotionally and psychologically. Thanks to the counsellor and the entire WARIF TEAM.
I appreciate the Management and staff of WARIF Centre for giving me a new beginning.
-End-
* The real name of the survivor is changed for confidentiality
Dear survivor, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Help is available. If you have been raped or know someone who has, please visit us at:
The WARIF Centre
6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba.
or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on
0800-9210-0009
For questions or more information please contact: [email protected]
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