My name is Temitope. I’m 23 years old lady, and this is my story.
This abuse began when I was 14 years old while I was still in Senior Secondary School One. My mother had recently gotten a new job as a logistics manager and she had to move to the Island part of Lagos while my dad and I remained in our house in the mainland. My parents built the house while I was still a toddler and we have been living there since. We had an elderly man a widow Mr. Ossai who was living in the boys’ quarters apartment, for over five years and his children were all grown-up. They occasionally visited and spent time with their dad. I was an only child hence we (parents and I) had to agree on all issues including my mom’s new job we communicated often on the phone during the week but we always looked forward to my mom coming home by the weekend.
Sometime after I turned fourteen (14) years, my father had gone to work during the week, I was home alone because I was sick. My dad reminded me to take my medication while promising to check up on me frequently. He also told me to reach out to our neighbour Mr. Ossai if there was any emergency, after which he bid me goodbye and left. I did not remember to lock the door but I summoned courage, stood up, went to the bathroom to have my bathe. It was not long after that I heard the door opened and I thought it was my dad. Probably he left something behind which he came back to pick up. I called out Daddy loudly but there was no response, so I continued having my bathe, when I finished bathing, I came to the sitting room only to see our neighbour Mr. Ossai sitting on the long sofa in the room. I told him my father was not around, he asked me to sit down that he had something he needed to tell me. I asked him to come back and tell me when my dad was around. He ignored my words, stood up, dragged me to the long sofa, pulled my towel off my body, pinned me down, covered my mouth, used his penis to penetrate my vagina and raped me.
When he finished, he threatened to kill me, brought out an object like charm and told me, I would vomit blood if I ever told anyone hence, I could not tell anyone. I was in terrible pains, I had bruises in my vagina and I was also bleeding in my vagina region. It was my first sexual experience, a painful experience that I don’t wish for anyone. My father came back and thought something was not right with me. He tried talking to me but I kept telling my father back, it was nothing, that I had migraine and he suggested taking me back to the hospital for change of prescription but I talked him out that it was too soon change my medication. All this was the fear of the threat, which I thought would happen die if I spoke up. He told my mother who was so worried and wanted to take permission to come home but I lied to her that it was dad just exaggerating so she calmed down. I wished I had known the danger of not speaking up when abused or assaulted.
From that day, my neighbour began molesting me more frequently whenever my father went to work and I was home alone. My father was always telling him our routine so he knew exactly when to come in to sexually molest me. I lost count of how many times Mr Ossai had raped me after a while and this continued until I was eighteen (18) years old. My parents suspected something was wrong because I was always isolating myself from others, I was also having mood swings, flashbacks and living in fear. The worst of them was that it affected my grades and I began performing poorly in school. How I was able to concealso much pain emotionally and psychologically still baffles me till date. When I turned eighteen, I was in still in Senior Secondary School three, a new teacher moved to our school, she was friendly, jovial and very observant. She took upon herself to be my friend and she kept asking question so I could open up but I did not, then she told me that I could set up whatever was my pain was then I took her advice.
I saw Mr. Ossai and told him that my father was travelling after he visited his friend that afternoon, his routine visits, then my neighbour said my father must have forgotten to inform him. He smiled foolishly and I knew he will come in that afternoon. He watched that my father had left for a while then he came in as usual and I played along, I knew my dad would be back suddenly because his friend was out of town. His daughter who we both attended same school told me that they were travelling that day. My father’s usual routine was to spend the afternoon with him, he left without calling his friend, hence I knew he will be back shortly. I tuned the volume of the TV set loudly to distract the perpetrator from hearing the sound of my dad’s car, when he returned. According to what my father told me, that while on his way, he received his friend’s call that he had to travel urgently out of town. My father returned home, entered the parlor and caught Mr Ossai having sexual intercourse with me. My father was frozen, then he recovered, ran to the kitchen to get a knife, Mr. Ossai was lucky to have escaped a stab from my dad who was so furious. Mr. Ossai ran out naked as fast as he could for my dad chased after him while screamed for help for passersby to catch the perpetrator. Mr. Ossai who was still naked was caught by the neighborhood security and handed over to the police for sexually abusing me a minor. The police referred us to WARIF Centre.
At the CENTRE, I received medical assessment, treatment and psycho-social counselling for free. The staff at WARIF Centre are very professional and dedicated in the discharge of their duties. I also access psychosocial counselling for free and this helped to begin my healing journey from trauma. My counselling sessions with the counsellor at WARIF Centre has been so impactful and very helpful. I was taught coping mechanisms to help deal with my emotions and I can confidently say am in a safe space of hope, healing and peace. I also joined the Group therapy session where I developed a sense of belonging and it helped to build up my self-esteem. perpetrator was charged to court and convicted for crimes committed against me. It’s been few years now I do not feel like ending my life again because I see the light at the end of my ordeal. I was also exposed to the fact that there are many potentials I am yet to achieve in life. I also look forward to becoming an advocate for the sexually violated in the society. There’s been total transformation in every area of my life.
Thank you to the Management and staff of WARIF Centre for restoring hope and confidence in me.
-End-
* Real name of survivor changed for confidentiality
Dear survivor, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Help is available. If you have been raped or know someone who has, please visit us at:
The WARIF Centre
6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba.
or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on
0800-9210-0009
For questions or more information please contact: [email protected]
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