WARIF Survivor Stories
Dear Reader,
Welcome to the WARIF Survivor Stories Series, a monthly feature, where stories of survivors of rape and sexual violence are shared to motivate and encourage survivors to speak their truth without the fear of judgment or stigmatization and to educate the public on the sheer magnitude of this problem in our society. The Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF) is a non-profit organization set up in response to the extremely high incidence of rape, sexual violence, and human trafficking of young girls and women in our society. WARIF is tackling this issue through a holistic approach that covers health, education, and community service initiatives.
WARIF aids survivors of rape and sexual violence through the WARIF Centre – a haven where trained professionals are present full time, 6 days a week including public holidays to offer immediate medical care, forensic medical examinations, psycho-social counseling, and welfare services which include shelter, legal aid, and vocational skills training. These services are provided FREE of charge to any survivor who walks into the Centre.
My name is Adesua*, a 22-year-old lady, and this is my story which happened to me some years ago.
We had just moved into the neighborhood few years ago after my father lost his job. My dad ventured into business introduced to him by his childhood friend and he lost his entire savings. That is a story for another day but the consequences of his actions hit us so had that we had to move out of the 3-bedroom apartment to one room self-contain apartment in a big compound. My mother started a petty trade with her savings to enable us feed while my father began actively searching for another job. I have 3 siblings and it is not easy fending for a family of five with my mother’s small-scale business. My family took solace in the fact that my father always dotted on us while he was working and we were was hopeful that my father will secure another job soon.
Not long after we had moved in, I noticed that we had several young men living in the compound and amongst them was this one gentle looking one named Nnamdi. We felt he was usually quiet and we labelled him as anti-social. Some months later, a woman visited him with a son and my parents decided to ask him and whom she was and he told us she was his baby-mama and not his wife. Meanwhile, I was done with my WAEC and was waiting to write my JAMB exams. I was enrolled in lesson by my parents to enable prepare for my forthcoming examination. Some months later, I wrote the exams and passed with high cut-off mark. I also wrote the post- UME and got admission into
one of the prestigious universities in Nigeria.
As I got prepared for my university life, there came the Almighty ASUU strike which made it impossible for me to resume and so I was home alone. Nnamani’s baby mama was always around so I thought until one day when he (Nnamani) approached our room and knocked the door when my parents and siblings had all gone to their daily activities. He told me he observed I was home alone and suggested we became friends which I thought was not bad but I asked him to define the friendship and he explained chat and game buddies, platonic level to which I accepted.
Nnamani, usually came by our apartment room to greet me every morning when my parents and siblings went to work and we began talking about many things and everything and he was someone who could hold a conversation and he strike me as a very intelligent young man. One day, he came and said we should play card -games and whoever won will send their nudes photos to each other but I did not take it seriously as we played the game. To my amazement he won the first set and I won the second set and vice-versa until we ended the game, usually, I always won all games we had played in the past.
Later that evening, I received the photos of his nudes but I refused to send mine to his phone. The perpetrator saw me the next day and called me a coward for not keeping to our agreement. I felt insulted and later in the day, I forwarded my nude pictures to his phone. A few weeks later, he came to my apartment door, knocked the door and rather than wait for me he came inside, pushed me on the bed and forcefully had sexual intercourse with me. Afterwards, he threatened to kill me, if I ever told anyone about the incident. Unknown to me, he began coming to my apartment room every time, my parents and siblings were not around to rape me and he raped me on 6 different occasions and kept repeatedly threatening to kill me and forced me to swore an oath not to tell anyone. I lost my sense of self-worth and dignity and I began to experience insomnia, flashbacks and loss of appetite and began contemplating suicide and my brother began to persistently plead with me to confide in him because he felt something was not right with me.
My mother also observed the changes and she pleaded with me to open up. I think she felt I had experienced a heartbreak from a loved one and after much persuasion and I opened up to her. She was shocked and she immediately called my father on phone and told him. My father dashed to report the case at the police and Nnamani, the perpetrator was arrested immediately and charged to court. We were referred from the police station to WARIF Rape Crisis Centre. At the Centre, I went through proper medical assessment, treatment and counseling session for free. The counsellor at WARIF Centre assured me that it was not my fault and helped to restore my lost hope and confidence and at last visit to the Centre, I was certified medically fit and I have resumed at the University where I am studying to become a medical doctor.
About 6 months ago, the perpetrator pleaded guilty at the court and he was sentenced for crimes committed against me. Around the same time, it was double good news for my family as my father got a good job with a foreign firm with accommodation benefits in a good and safe environment on the Island. It also comes with educational, travelling, medical benefits amongst others. I feel a great sense of fulfilment and I am practicing intentional is self-care and I celebrate myself more often as I take further steps towards my healing journey as taught by the counsellor.
I’m excited at the next phase of my life and I must mention that I attended that the WARIF Group therapy session where I met other survivors and we bonded nicely and also learnt new coping mechanism. I’m excited to say that I belong to a community of people who are survivors of rape and sexual violence as my support system and this would not have been possible without the great team of professionals at the Centre.
Many thanks to WARIF TEAM and Keep up the good job!
-End-
* Real name of survivor changed for confidentiality
Dear survivor, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Help is available. If you have been raped or know someone who has, please visit us at:
The WARIF Centre
6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba.
or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on
0800-9210-0009
For questions or more information please contact: [email protected]
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