I am Maria

WARIF Survivor Stories
Dear Reader,
Welcome to the WARIF Survivor Stories Series, a monthly feature, where stories of survivors of rape and sexual violence are shared to motivate and encourage survivors to speak their truth without the fear of judgment or stigmatization and to educate the public on the sheer magnitude of this problem in our society. The Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF) is a non-profit organization set up in response to the extremely high incidence of rape, sexual violence, and human trafficking of young girls and women in our society. WARIF is tackling this issue through a holistic approach that covers health, education, and community service initiatives.
WARIF aids survivors of rape and sexual violence through the WARIF Centre – a haven where trained professionals are present full time, 6 days a week including public holidays to offer immediate medical care, forensic medical examinations, psycho-social counseling, and welfare services which include shelter, legal aid, and vocational skills training. These services are provided FREE of charge to any survivor who walks into the Centre.

I am Maria*, a 26-year-old lady, and this is my story.

I was posted to serve in Lagos and after my National Youth Service, I was retained in my workplace hence, I moved out of the corps lodges and rented an apartment in a location, at a close proximity to my office. It was a newly developed apartment and my parents assisted me to complete the rent.

I was still getting used to my new apartment and I only knew few people living in the residences. There was power outage in our area and it lingered on and so my phone battery and other gadgets went flat and I called the security guard to help switch on my generator and he did. I began typing some documents I brought home from the office when I heard a knock on my door and I first peeped through the pigeon hole to see who it was and then I saw this young man. I opened the door and inquired what he wanted and he told me he was my neighbour living in the upstairs apartment. I remembered seeing him a few days ago on my way to work early in the morning and he offered me a ride which I refused because he was a stranger, then he told me he was my neighbour living upstairs but I still declined his ride and then I boarded a taxi to work while he drove off.

I demanded to know what he wanted in my apartment and he explained that he needed to charge his phone and his phone battery was flat due to the power outage and he observed that my generator was on, hence he came over to charge his phone, I collected his phone to help him charge it but he asked that he wanted to come inside and that he needed to make a quick business call else he will lose the deal so I agreed and let him in. He introduced himself as “Freddrick” and that he just moved in about 6 months ago and he continued to tell me a bit more about himself while I just listened without contributing much except listening. After some time, he asked for my phone number, I gave him and excused myself to my room to do continue my official work.

Not long after I entered my room, I heard a footstep and I continued typing on my computer and as I looked up, I saw Freddrick entering my bedroom and I asked what he wanted and barely had the words finished leaving my mouth that he laughed deeply and threw me on the bed. I tried to shouting, but he used his hands to cover my mouth and he used the other to undress me and he inserted his penis into my vagina and raped me. He was moaning in pleasure while raping me and I was in pains. When he finished, he looked at me and threatened to kill me if I ever told anyone. I tried to pick up my phone to call my friend but he quickly snatched it from me and it slipped off and my phone screen broke and I continued crying. Freddrick was not perturbed and he dragged me to the bathroom to wash off and unknown to me he had set his phone to record the abuse. After I returned from the bathroom, he raped me two more times and further threatened to kill me while telling me he belonged to a dangerous cult group and I should not dare report the incident else he or his cult members will kill me. I was shaken and trembling in pain when he finally left. He forgot his phone and returned a few minutes later to pick it and his sight alone was fearful and he dragged me by the neck almost chocking me to death before he let me go and repeated his threats.

The perpetrator dragged me to lock the door and then left because it was not locked when he returned earlier. I was exhausted, tired and hungry so I pulled myself to the kitchen to make a cup of tea which I drank and went back to my bedroom and continued crying until I slept off. I woke up in the morning and was grateful it was Sunday morning and I knew I could not go to church. I was afraid to step out and I was experiencing migraines and flashbacks. My whole body was paining me and my vagina sore for the constant force which he used to penetrate me. I got up, brushed, made breakfast and took painkillers, my phone screen was broken so I could not make any calls nor go out for fear so I was stranded in my own house and I went back to bed. On Monday morning, I used my computer to send an official mail that I was sick and would not be coming to the office and I went to bed again.

Because my parents could not reach me on phone which was unusual so they sent my younger brother to check upon me. He came to my house on Tuesday and met me in bad shape and he decided to take me to the hospital and I refused so he insisted on fixing my phone screen. Upon returning after fixing my phone screen, messages began dropping on my WhatsApp apps and I suddenly screamed out in pain, my brother who was curious at what I saw, quickly grabbed the phone and saw the sex video sent by the perpetrator while demanding for a sum of two Million naira else he will publish it for all my contacts viewing and also on all other social media apps. My brother was furious while demanding I tell him all the details and he immediately called a friend of his who was a senior police officer. He asked us to report the incident at the nearest police station. While at the station we wrote our statements and we were referred for medical assessment, treatment and psycho-social counselling at WARIF CENTRE. The amazing thing is that all the services at Centre were all carried out free of charge. The counsellor at the Centre assured me that it was not my fault, she helped restore my lost hope and self-esteem. She also taught me coping techniques which was helpful in dealing with the trauma associated with the rape. I also had the privilege of attending the monthly group therapy session which helped me to overcome self-blame, anxiety, guilt, flashbacks and insomnia.

Meanwhile, the perpetrator was arrested the next day and his other syndicate were tracked down. So many other survivors came out to speak after his arrest and he was charged to court and sentenced to jail. It’s been one year after the event and I can tell you that I have gotten my confidence back and I have just got my admission for my master’s degree at a prestigious university abroad although I will be studying online and I was awarded the employee of the year at the quarterly meeting held last month in my organization.

All these would not have been possible if I have not come in contact with WARIF and the amazing staff at the Centre. Many thanks to the WARIF team and keep up the good work!

-End-
* Real name of survivor changed for confidentiality

Dear survivor, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Help is available. If you have been raped or know someone who has, please visit us at:
The WARIF Centre
6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba.
or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on
0800-9210-0009
For questions or more information please contact: [email protected]